How Do You Mark Your Wedding Anniversaries-Omotola Celebrate 20 years in Marriage(Photos)

She share this on her social media page;

"And... #happyanniversaryto us. It is a pleasure experiencing life with you. I might just be the luckiest girl in the World !Our#20yearsmarriageanniversary#march23rd #thecaptainandI"

The spark in our marriage should always be up, more about what she wrote;

Real Housewife Naija Answers: Current Issue

I got an email from a married woman on advice on the current issues she’s facing in her marriage. Here’s her story

I got married 5years ago after a 3years courtship. A year to our marriage during the courtship i discovered from his document that a lady had a 2years old son for my husband. I confronted him he pleaded and pleaded and stated the entire story how it was from the beginning. that even, he wasn't sure of the child paternal. That the he has never slept with the lady without condom, so how com she now came about pregnancy surprises him. Then i already made up my mind of walking away cos I just can’t cope with someone who already has a child, he continue to plead and plead he now brought out a ring to proposed to me that night. Now I was a bit relieved and hope someday has he has stated his story, the true paternity of the child will surface.

Now that he has proposed, he took the bold step to announce to his family about his fiancée he is about to get married to. 

Here comes the toughest period of our lives. His family never agree he gets married. Even the previous lady who had a baby for him they never wanted him to marry the lady, wanted to collect the child from her.

  

after a year with all the trouble we finally got married with the intervention of God and some family members. And not as if is 100% from her heart( mother in law) she just wanted to honour the people who intervened. After the marriage it was still war she never stopped fighting me despite I have kids for his son.

To cut the story short, last Sunday he visited mother, I am not always happy whenever he is going there because am not sure the kind of power she may use to influence or pass into him. so my mind is not always at rest. Even at times we all go there together, this woman will call my husband separately for over 3hours discussing, I and the kids will be so bored until they are done before will have to spend additional 3 hours to leaving.

He came back very late in the night since he has left in the morning, I was so angry with him. he was angry also and started to act without talking to me even when I asked him what happen that why was he so late. “this is always my fear if he is going to visit his mother" after acting up he powered the generator. We have been in the dark cos the Gen requires physical power to bring it on. So we waited for him to come back and power it. We all went to bed without talking to each other. he didn't eat dinner that night am so sure he has been full. Later on the Gen went dead i woke him up to tell him the Gen is off, he didn't responded, i taped him at his back he said i should leave him alone and not to tap him again. I went ahead to still taped his back he warned me if i do that again he will slap me. Because of this that i heard made me to still tap him again, the next minutes he slapped me several times and hit me. I didn't responded with anything then i started to raise my voice on him later on i left him to sleep, after an hour he powered the Gen on. The next morning i feel like leaving him and ask for some space and probably travel  to Abuja and while a way some time. This is my story.

Best regards

My response

Please I don't advise you give any kind of space to settle issues. It doesn't help. In fact the distance will allow more access from externals to pile the perceived negative influence on your husband. I know it is not easy but here’s what you can do to win your husband to yourself.

More prayers and prayers. Talk to  your mum, dad or pastor but ‎don't put pressure on him (your husband), In fact show him more love, welcome him well, never show you are pained because of the current issue, ask him how his child is. Pet him more, that way he’ll be open to you and cling to you . Never nag him or allow yourself become his fisting bag, if he doesn't want to on the gen or do what you ask of him, manage without it and be happy, let him have the space he needs while you're still in the same house under same room but please keep being dutiful as a wife.

Whenever you notice his mood is calm you can go to him and play like you used to. In all, keep praying. God almighty will sustain your marriage and bring happiness to your home again.

Cheers.

 Please drop your comments on your views/opinion on this

A House Reflects It’s Master

Every Home has a master, a captain, a head and that is the Man. If the home is unstable/sad or stable/happy, the head made it so. They are like the foundation and the women the building blocks. As a wife your work is to support your husband in making the home beautiful and to bring the vision your husband wants for his home out, try talking about the future with your spouse that way you can support him making the future bright. Here's what this man says about his home;

"Marrying this woman helped me to be able to become who i am today, in the sense that we were living beneath our means for over a decade. There are many women who will never ever ever ever agree to live beneath their means. I will deny them of holidays, i will deny them of new cars, of cloths, i will deny them of everything because i was trying to build for tomorrow and she has so much faith and belief in me and where i was taking us. Because I’m the captain of my ship, i can’t lie, i am the captain of my family, I’m the head of my family and i believe whether we sink or swim is my responsibility. If you are unfortunate not to have a wife who wants to encourage you, you can have a hundred million and say I’m not spending a kobo of this. We are going to continue to live like paupers because i want to do this and she’ll be like fine, and without that peace of mind, of knowing that i was putting things in place for our future, i couldn’t have ever achieved it."

Wedding is a day, Marriage is a lifetime. Be wise, choose carefully. A wrong choice can destroy you in many ways you can’t think of.

Mother-Daughther Combo

For New Mums

Before you get back home from the hospital after delivery, it is good to child proof your home. Most especially before your baby crawls, or the first few months of them trying to walk because they try to explore every area of your home especially areas that are busy like where your electronics are. So it is very important you baby proof your home and keep it safe for your child. Here are some few tips;

Before you bring baby home

1. Use cool night light in the room where you and baby would stay
2. Do not paint your home for baby arrival.  If you have to, do it months before delivery  time because the smell may be too strong for your little baby
3. Have your bed and baby nursery kitted with mosquito net

As baby starts to crawl or walk

1. Do not carry hot food/tea/water and your baby or carry your baby while cooking to  avoid burns
2. Keep hot food, generally keep food containing pepper away from the edge of your  dining table or stool
3. Do not live your baby unattended or alone on the bed or sofa
4. Put safety plugs or outlet cover over unused outlets or block with a safe object
5. Hide electrical cord, trunk them
6. Keep your mobile appliances out of reach from them like iron, toaster, electric kettle
7. Install gates to block staircases top and bottom
8. If you can keep them out of the kitchen please do, otherwise keep all sharp objects  like knife, breakables, heavy pots locked up
9. Don’t use table cloth in your dining, babies will pull them
10. Attach corners and edge guard to the edge of your furniture
11. Keep drugs far from your baby’s reach
12. Always keep their toys in good conditions and make sure none of the have buttons  or ribbon or anything they can swallow or chock on
13. Keep your baby away from open windows

Cleaning tips for the home

After your mum or in law or whoever came to help you out during omugwor, wipe your tears because I’ll help you achieve a neat home even though you may not have a maid like i don’t and you like your home clean without overwhelming yourself, these few tips should help

1. Work with planning your chores and do it smart not all hard: Like i do, i keep mopping till night when baby is asleep to avoid doing it twice, make a list of what i want to do and i follow it. The laundry is done once in two days
2. Make use of tiny storage: anything....baskets, carton, etc can be used to put together things like your baby’s toys or any little thing lying around
3. Don’t Overwork Yourself: Split or schedule tasks like chose to clean the bathing room Wednesdays, dust Fridays, bake Tuesdays....etc
4. Rest: Do not joke with this one as you need to rest that body of yours. When you feel tired, rest. Even when you don’t feel tired try to nap at least twice when you baby is too so that you can have enough strength to bond with her/him
5. Keep things in their right places: This one is important, when you pick up an object from its proper position, after using it, return it back. S also is dirty cloths/plates put them in their laundry basket/kitchen washing bowl respectively
6. Lastly, if you still get overwhelmed you can hire a maid, hey no one says its bad, your health is important

Battered But Not Broken

This is a story of a Nigerian Housewives who went through some serious challenges in the first 7 years of her marriage but survived. She is married with 3 children, a graduate of a polytechnic. While she dated her husband, it was all rosy, full with fun, romance, and care. 

Once she got married, things changed, her husband became controlling, jealous, no more fun, no romance. He kept female friends that he never admitted to having an affair with but indeed was having an affair with, late night calls from them, text, even hanging out till mid night. 

And when he came back, he would be all drunk. She stayed up late to open the door for him and any delay resulted to beating-violence. The children lacked the presence of their father and each time they go to mummy asking about daddy, she would cover up. He never eats in his house, no care for his in-laws or wife’s looks. 

All she did was pray and persevere, and listen to her mother’s good advice, her mother always encouraged her to persevere that it was going to be okay someday. 

This routine lingered for 7 years until one Sunday evening when he came back late as usual, met his wife and mother-in-law watching African magic in the living room and walked pass them without uttering a word as usual into his room to relax, while relaxing he turned the channel to a program where the speaker preached about husbands eating outside and that was the Turning point. The preacher talked about a man who eat in a particular restaurant daily for years not knowing the cook uses charm to hook up with men who patronize her and drain up their finances living them unable to plan and have a home, it was just like the speaker was talking to him, after the program, her husband decided to stop eating outside and chose to start eating at home with his family, indeed this decision he took was the beginning to joy in the family as all his bad behaviours were destroyed and everything became anew like the honeymoon she never experienced. 

Lessons; whatever situation you find yourself pray and patience is always key for the sustainability of a home. Running away or losing it is never a way out, no one is perfect!

Baby Butt/Body Rash

The weather has been so hot, even with the ac and fan....the heat is still up. My little princess had a butt rash at first i though it was a diaper rash but  then it spread to her back. No matter how careful you are, your baby may probably get diaper rash at some point. Most babies do.

Here’s what i did and it cleared up;

•  I used dustin powder on the affected areas
• Wore her light cloths and changed her diaper more frequently to avoid irritation from urine
• Live her bare butt for about 1hour in a day
• Bath her frequently with cool water
• When she poops i just don’t use wipes and then put her diaper on, i also wash her butt with water

And under 5 days her skin was as clear as usual.Here are some other reasons your baby may have rash in the body

• Bacterial infection
• Allergic reaction to diaper: Change the type of diaper you use till you find a suitable one for your baby
• Sleeping on poopy diaper or full diaper from urine: Always check your baby’s diaper even when they are asleep to see if they pooped and then change it, as a mother you don’t sleep deep, sleep with one eyes open like a shark, lol.
• Having diarrhoea
• If your baby is taking antibiotics or if you are taking antibiotics and breastfeeding

Call or visit your paediatrician if the rash doesn't clear up after 1 week, they can prescribe an anti-fungal medicine/cream to clear it up.

Note that the use of this dustin powder is for prickly heat and it’s the traditional way for fighting heat rash not a medical advice, Always seek your doctor before trying anything new.