Domestic
violence? I don’t see anything domestic about those 2 words, violence is
violence and should not be seen as light, no individual loves to be violated. Well
it is seen as domestic violence because it is an abuse involved in a
relationship or marriage. Some call it family violence or battering or abuse in
the home. It involves a man having a specific pattern of behavior geared by uncontrolled
anger to abuse his wife or girlfriend or even children. Some forms of abuse
include hitting, flogging, in general physical abuse, verbal abuse to partner
and family, emotional, economic, religious, locking up or slavery acts, sexual
abuse. If you notice i have been writing in one pattern as in man against
women, this is because from origin domestic violence has been done against
women only in very rare occasion that the reverse is the case.
Hmm, i think
this article should be mostly for the men, I’ll address the women towards the
end
Some men hit
their wives as a means for correction, others only when provoked by the women and
many have uncontrolled anger. How do men feel while committing this act of
abuse? I mean by the nature women were created from men....out of their ribs
and completely obvious men are stronger. So with such meekness a women posses
in her a man will comfortable fight and cause damages to her. Same women you
sort after to marry, same woman who bore children for you, same woman who
sacrifices for you? And after all damages sorry is the last resort. In my
opinion men should talk to their wives, i guess they are friends (husband and
wife) and if your wife loves you especially when it’s not the first time you
mentioned whatever you talked with her
about then she’ll change. Otherwise once you are getting so angered to the
point of hitting, please take a stroll or go to bed if it is so late and then
give her silent treatment or cut down some of her privileges till she behaves
appropriately rather that battering her. Some women out of shock might even
die. Do you want to be a widower and a man who killed his wife?
There may be
cases where the man says never like infidelity, in my opinion please separate from
her rather than killing her. I do not advocate for divorce or separation but
infidelity is totally wrong. It is adultery and one of the Ten Commandments, do
you not fear God? No good woman will commit such acts
Women go
through a lot, you can read so many articles on this and see what pains women
go through. They go through daily trauma, are emotionally broken, enter into
shock that might take them sometime to re-adjust after the event, depression, feelings
of hopelessness, weight/appetite loss, unkempt look, unexpected crying, less i
forget-physical bruises like black/red eyes, bruises, crippled in sever case,
shortness of breath, hearing/seeing loss, miscarriage/early delivery, knife
wounds, fainting and above all start living in fear in a place meant to be home
because abuse can cause a great impact in the persons way of thinking and
impact how the individual acts.
What about
the children who watch or listen while this is going on? There is a bold
statement been written in the hearts, something they will hardly forget, you
know children have this strong recalling memory and it is not good to damage
their memory with bad attitudes and behaviour since we are their first model.
I did not
write about coping in domestic violence because it can be avoided.
Now women
our mothers will tell us to pray, be patient, be submissive. Most women who are
affected will tell you if you have the opportunity to interview or gist with
them that they are submissive and patient and pray, so the question is what’s
going on? Here’s my opinion again, I think you have to know very well you are
married to, how he takes to things and how controllable his anger is, every
marriage is different and so is the man’s tolerance. I have always said in any
relationship be it buyer-seller, boyfriend-girlfriends, parents-children,
husband-wife.... There is only fight when there is an opponent. If you as the
wife refuse to be an opponent, then the fight is cancelled. If your husband
insults you and family keep mute, if he is gearing for a slap or hitting, do
not dare [most women especially first timers in this abuse thing have so much
confidence that their husbands won’t hit them and they dare him and finally it
occurs, so do not dare him] Anything he wants at that beastly time of his, obey
and them retire to sleep. As far as you are totally clean and its merely a
misunderstanding issue, silence really pays, he may think you are a fool but in
his quiet time he will feel bad even if he doesn’t come to apologize as in some
cases and save yourself been physically damaged because at the end of the day
its your body and these damages will tell at old age. Be Informed!
