Real Housewives Naija: Infidelity: When Forgiveness Seem Impossible

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Infidelity: When Forgiveness Seem Impossible


Most women are consumed with anger when they find out their husband is cheating on them, worse is when it’s a thought and not real. Some women even die of just hear say or imaginations probably phone calls at odd hours, funny messages, female colleagues, funny right? But a lot of women are like this, I mean why kill yourself when nothing is happening. But when it is confirmed from your husband especially when you caught them, how do you handle it? Many times questions begin to pop up in your head like can i forgive him and move on, can trust be 100% again, and should you stay married? Or you resent your husbands, it even gets worse to the extent that it affects your sex life, during sex you may find yourself crying or feeling the hurt all over again. But my dear wives nothing comes out of worrying or leaving your home, so do not stay up late thinking or exhaust yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, because this issue has made some women so exhausted that they cannot pray, care for their looks or care for their husbands and children, i know it’s not easy you have been murdered emotionally, but you can be strong and kick the devil out. Because is the devil joy to destroy marriages.

I met and discussed with 3 women who have been married for over 20years, one 52years in marriage, the other 46 years and the 3rd 25 years, this is what I gathered from them. One thing common between them is never run out that is never divorce/separate/cheat on your husband and never make it an open discussion between your friends. They say if you are divorced, what makes you think the next man you hook up with is Mr. Right, that it is worse when you have children, what virtue will you pass to them, One big advise I got from them was to ignore what we think the men our husbands are doing that may seem wrong and take it to God who is the father to All.

My advices to young couples, the resentment will surely go as long as there are no further association with painful events. Do not make rash decisions and seek professional help if it has driven you to the point of hurting yourself or people around you. Another thing that will help your psychology or thinking is never over monitor your husband, do not go through his phone or be jumpy about any call/s he makes and never assume, assumptions helps to guide your thought to negativity,  instead pray like your life depends on it, care like never before, look good and neat, give attention to your children, instead of thinking of the wrong he has done, think of the good, try not to be emotionally withdrawn and pray for your husband daily....be guided!
Trust-Your trust towards your husband might have been shaken. As far as it is not totally dead, it can be re-built. First you should learn to talk with your spouse and ask questions where necessary or confused. Then totally Forgive him and give up unhealthy anger which is often expressed as bitterness, spite, rage, the "silent treatment," or revenge. Take your spouse and the offence over to God for His righteous judgement. Make a commitment to work through the issues together until the root causes of the problem have been identified and resolved. Do not worry, there is no need to rush, injury takes time to heal so also is pain, broken trust, daily try to rebuild your marriage, brick by brick, on a foundation of solid trust.

This is for the men-Having an affair is a choice you can choose or reject. One thing a preacher once said and it is so true is “any woman who is not your wife and agrees to sleep with you or keep a relationship does not love you and the only thing she seeks is to destroy your home”. Cut off from circumstances that can cause you to cheat, and if you had fallen, admit your wrong and end whatever you had with the person, then avoid carrying out actions that will bring resentment to your wife, be open and pray things are restored in your home.
So start complete forgiveness of your spouse from today and see the blessings of God flowing in your life and family.


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