Ankara Styles for Your Baby Girl

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Anger Management

As a spouse sometimes you get angry. Anger is a very powerful emotion which can vary from strong to light rage, it differs between individuals and also the cause can affect its magnitude. It can come from frustration, depression, stress, quarrel, disappointments, jealousy, loss of trust, e.c.t. Even though expressing it can sometimes be good for you, jumping at every little thing and blowing it up is not healthy. So how you manage it determines the weather of your home, whether it's going to be joyful or full of depression. Most people who had parents or guardians whose homes were abusive find it difficult not been the same but i tell you, anger can be expressed calmly. It is always best to calm down when you feel angry before expressing the rage because it can be harmful to the receiving end and when you are a little calm regret comes in. Find out how to control your anger whenever it sets in. It's unrealistic to expect your spouse to behave exactly as you want at all times, remember you both came from different families and culture. Here are some few things i do when i feel angry or sad;

• Visualise peace- i use this logic on myself, i tell myself that this is a rough path of daily life and soon i will cross it
• Not saying the first thing that comes to my head, i learnt by experience to always think first before talking
• Talking, this is one of my favourite things...talking clears your heart and it gives you an insight on your spouse heart, never conclude when you know nothing. Talk in a positive and constructive way and choose a good time to talk and never when your spouse is tired or having a rough day
• Time-outs they are not for your children alone, take short breaks to cool off, i normally dip my foot in cool water, it eases my tension
• Work on solving the issue that made you mad rather than thinking about the issue that made you mad
• Exercise. some calm exercise like yoga also calm you down or taking deep breaths
• Rather than saying hurtful words i write it down in paper and later tear it up
• Lastly and the most powerful of all is Forgiveness. do not allow negative thoughts and anger crowd your positive feelings, because you may find yourself swallowed in in your own bitterness and pains. Forgiving whatever your spouse might have done to you in the past is a big part of this, i found out that most couple do not truly forgive their spouses past, this builds up into irritation and turns into snapping and expressing anger at anything little as the compare every act to the past. Only with forgiveness will both spouses learn from the situation.

Avoid alcohol or smoking as a means of calming your anger. I am not saying getting angry is bad, some people may say as a wife you are meant to be happy at all times, never showing you are angry....these set of persons are worse because they feel angry but rather than expressing themselves they bury the expression and the day they will explode hmm, it is always destructive.

Happiness is a choice and so is unhappiness...choose today to be happy

Trying to Conceive?

Are you still trying to conceive? God gives children, they are gifts from God. If you have been trying to get pregnant for a while now and it has not yet happened, don’t panic, relax and be patient. I attended a baby dedication few weeks back and the couple had just had twin boys after trying for 20 years, yes 20 years so keep trying, have faith and never lose hope, you have to believe it will happen. Some women actually don’t know how it happens, i say this because i spoke with two ladies who are about to be married and both were ignorant about ovulation, i had to enlighten them on it. You can only get pregnant when you have sex during your ovulation and fertile period (which are two days before and after your ovulation) Information is power, here are some things you should know while you are still trying

• See your doctor, get an all round health check and let your doctor know if you are on any medication
• If you are taking birth control pills, stop ahead of time
• Reduce stress and care for/prepare your body for a healthy pregnancy. do not over work yourself, eat healthy because stress can fertility, pregnancy and baby health
• Know when you ovulate, this is the main thing. you must know when you ovulate, if you don't and you don’t want to be stressed with calculating and keeping dates, you can try an ovulation calculator or ovulation predictor kit  to do the work for you, and chart your circle.
• Have sex regularly mostly before and after ovulation, and don't make it seem like a job.
• Most women say taking a prenatal vitamin like folic acid or pregnacare is also good but confirm with your doctor before taking any drugs. Folic acid is good for baby, it prevents defects in their head and spines
• If your pregnancy test returns negative, keep trying, do not panic
• Stop some certain lifestyle like taking alcohol, smoking, excessive coffee, also clear up your diet, the kind of drugs you take and avoid too much sugary food.

Just to throw more info I’ll talk about cycles and ovulation for those who still got questions on it.

CYCLES

Your cycle is normal if it is between the average of 28-32 days it may not be consistently 28 days on the dot but at least you don’t see your period every two weeks or skipping months. If you skip months or see it every two weeks, see your doctor or preferably gynaecologists. To know how many days your cycle lasts count from the first day of your current period to the first day of your next period, do this for 3 months and discover how many days your circle is. Some women with short cycles get pregnant during their period for example a 21 days cycle. That is why it is important you know yours.

OVULATION

This is usually the middle of your cycle. The your fertile days are 5 in a month.....your ovulation day, two days before that day and two days after, this is because sperm can last up to 72 hours inside and the egg released during ovulation 48 hours. It’s best your have sex every time most especially those 5 days. To take pregnancy test after trying wait until your period has been delayed for at least 3 days.

If you have an ipad or an android phone, make use of OVIA APP. It is very effective and it will do all the calculative work for you, no worries.

About Baby Teething

Is baby teething yet? This one question we mothers ask ourselves, then we keep looking at our baby's gums, is he/she teething.

Baby's experience teething differently, some babies do not even show any sign of teething and viola the teeth just shows up, while some other babies feel pains either in a high order or low order depending on the baby same with appearance of the teeth as no two child is the same. Teething starts between the ages of 3-12 months

Below are some signs to know your baby is teething; these symptoms can last for may be a few days, mine was for about 1 week.

• Drooling
• Facial rash as a result of the drooling
• Swollen or bulging gum: the gum looks swollen and a little whitish which you can see if you can convince your baby to open her mouth
• Trying to bite or chew on everything they hold
• Difficulty in sleeping
• Reduced appetite
• Irritability
• Crying due to pains from gum discomfort

Note: Some persons say diarrhoea, running nose, fever are also signs of teething but  there is no proof of that, it is better you take your child to see your doctor because it could be an infection from germs since your baby  during this period puts everything in her mouth.

And if your baby has gotten to 18 months with no tooth take him/her to see your doctor 

Making your baby feel better;

• Baby's teether comes in handy here, give you baby the teether to chew on
• Rub a clean finger gently over your baby's sore gums to ease the pains
• Cold things also give them relief, so you can refrigerate your pacifier or teether do not freeze it 
• Painkillers recommended by your doctor
• Distraction: Try to play with your baby to distract her from the pains
• Backing your baby: this one amazes me, but it is the traditional way our mothers/ grandmothers did it and it sort of soothes the baby somehow

Baby Teeth Order of Appearance

Remember not all babies follow this order of appearance

1.  lower central incisors.
   

Kitchen: Egusi Soup

Egusi soup is a Nigerian recipe. Most states in nigeria eat it. This is one of the ways i make my egusi soup, it is the frying method. i will share others learnt also.

Ingredients;
Egusi(grounded)
Palm Oil
Salt, Maggi, Dry Pepper, Onions
Grounded Tomatoes+Onion+Pepper---(Optional)
Tin Tomatoes
Crayfish, Dry fish, Stock fish
Meat, fish, Pomo
Bitterleaf, Ugwu or Greenleaf

Before you start cooking do the following;
Soap and clean the stockfish, dry fish and share them into bits of sizes you want them to be.
Rinse and cut your vegetables.
Boil your meat and fish
Mix the grounded egusi with tin tomatoes, onion and water to a slightly thick consistency, it should look like this

Preparation
Put your pot on low heat, add palm oil, and little quantity of onion, when it is hot, add the egusi into the pot as though you are making bean cake. it should look like this

Allow to cook for 5mins then stir gently so that the mixture is smooth but the egusi stands out like this

Then add your bitter leaf, stir, add your meat stock, dry pepper, pomo, dry/stock fish,crayfish, meat/fish, stir and taste if the mixture needs additional salt/maggi keeping in mind that the meat stock already has, if it needs more, then add. Cover and allow to cook for 10-15 mins it should look like this

Add your ugwu or green leaf, allow to cook for 3 mins and your soup is ready.

Serve with pounded yam, fufu,wheat or eba, Amala. Or Plate and refrigerate.
Thanks.

Baby's Bedtime Routine

Today I thought I’d share a little about baby’s bedtime routine.  When i had my baby, i had my mum and mum-in-law helping us  for the first 3 months.  This was a HUGE help and luxury,  It helped me get back on my feet feeling stronger. They gave me pointers, even bedtime songs and songs that soothe her when she cried. I’ll share some routine i use up till date and it works for me, of course you know every parent loves a peaceful sleeping baby. I started bedtime routine around 4 months, it involves a number of activities, here are some tips i use

1. End active play and reduce noise from the television.
2. Bathing: Like mine, most babies find it difficult to sleep without their night bath especially when you have it included in the routine
3. Good Massage/ Back or Buttocks Patting: After bathing, while you are rubbing her lotion or baby oil, massage your baby well. Some babies fall asleep after this. Also Patting their backs or buttocks make them sleep faster too
4. Cool Temperature: Figured out a cool temperature tends to soothe her, and when the temperature is hot i use cool water and her towel to damp her or give her a bath and then change her Pyjamas to a short one
5. Singing: Find a song your baby loves and sing for him/her, it works like a charm. I sing her favourite song.
6. Breastfeeding: Almost all babies tend to sleep on their mothers alms most especially when breastfeeding
7. Backing: This one is the old traditional way our mothers used and it still works. You back your baby and then stroll and sing lullaby to them
8. Chest Carry: If you are not medically fit please don’t try this, you carry your baby on your chest, this also works like backing them
9. Teether: In case of teething, they use it to scratch their teeth and in the process fall asleep

Some Additional Tips from Other Moms

• Talking to your child about his day
• Offer a pacifier
• Swaddling
• Putting the baby in a carrier and walk
• Keeping it simply and less lengthy

You may want to try reading story books to older children or giving them their favourite stuffed toy to cuddle. These bed time routine can change when baby is teething or sick or a change in environment. You can start bed time routine at any time, it is never too early to start. It last from 15mins to 1hour maximum. For best results it is nice to be consistent.

I hope this helps. 

Secret To A Successful Marriage

Sit with your grandparents or great grandparents if you still have one or old couples, ask them what their opinion is on this topic, they'll tell you one thing in common..."patience and prayer". Here's what i can say in my opinion cumulative with hearings from my mum, mother-law and some old couples. The secret of a solid long lasting marriage first would be God, continuous prayers because the devil wants marriages destroyed, this is because the union between a man and wife is likened to Christ and the church “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" Eph 5:25. Next would be honesty, no secrets, communication, a good foundation and then patience and love. Another thing is to change yourself and the way you handle issues in your home rather than trying to change your husband. Never fight in public and never let intimacy die. When you quarrel, never forget that you are on the same team. There should be something you both do together, never stop dating.

God:

You need His presence in your life and you need to communicate your fears and worries through prayers to him, in your most noisy situation there is  always a quiet time to speak to him with a clear heart, trust me a pure and contrite spirit the Lord hears. So long as you are clean in heart God will be with you and your family in trying times. In fact this is the greatest of all others as it covers them. And as a wife your husband needs your prayers, never stop praying for him, you both are one and what affect him affects you and vice versa. Pray also for your children.

"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." Psalm 127:1. "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:6 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

No secrets:

There is one thing that does not like to be hidden for so long, and that’s secret. Try all you can not to keep them because when they eventually surface, it becomes disastrous. Be honest at all times. This builds trust

Patience:

There is no gift as much as been patience, it cools a tempered spouse, it speaks for itself through piercing ones heart, imagine been a messy situation with your spouse and rather than fighting each other, you keep calm and become patient with the situation, you see that the other partner will feel remorse and change even if it is not immediate

Love:

This is the basis for everything. I guess you married your spouse because you love him/her. Let that love continue to fire up even after the children, because when there is no love and the wind blows, it will blow the partners to separate direction but when there is love both partners will be blown to the same direction and stand unshaken

Communication:

Be open, voice out your feelings. Men most times cannot figure out why you are moody or acting up except you actually tell them, and when you don’t and you keep that face long, it gets them angry and they try giving you some alone time. So talk talk talk

Babies Milestone-Patience(Time for Everything)

One of the first things we’re aware of as new parents is the long list of “Milestones”. If you’re like me, you must have asked a lot of questions from your mother, mother-in-law, friends who have children, even bought books about what and when babies do things for example what month they sit, crawl, walk, when they start solids, how to pet them to sleep, when they respond to sound, learn when other babies reached their milestone . And probably bought a diary to note every detail our child did like “Today baby rolled over for the first time!”, “Today baby ate solid food for the first time!”, “Today baby crawled for the first time!”.

But what about when you wait for your baby to reach a Milestone especially when you see another baby of same month doing something new, I remember i panicked when i saw my neighbours baby had 4 teeth and my baby had none. Well i learnt it was totally normal. Or you read books with a chart on other babies and when they reached their milestone?

I have had an education from mothers and learnt by experience, babies will reach that milestone

when they want to, just be patient, at some point i wondered when will baby sit, she sat eventually, then came crawling, ah she would use her belly, i felt worried but my mum and mother in law encouraged me, and they were telling me that everything was totally fine,  that she would soon progress to the more traditional crawl, that most children pass through that phase and she crawled did eventually, standing, walking....the key thing here is patience because babies are not robots and there is no award for doing it in time.

What i experienced in milestones from 0-12 months. And remember every child is different.

0-3 months: Baby eats, sleeps, crying, lifting heads, first baby smile

4-6 months: Recognises faces, can roll over, can play with his/her hands and legs, responds to sounds, sits without support and make funny sounds, playing with toys

7-9 months: Attaches to people she sees a lot, Crawl, making funny sounds, Eat solid food, Teething, Grabbing Object, waves goodbye, eat whatever i eat

10-12 months: Imitates body movements, stands, walk, first words, imitating sounds and words

As a mum what you can do is to support and guide them. If you baby has not yet reached her milestone, be patient, don’t panic because they are becoming what God wants them to be no matter what the path they may be.

Arranging a Small Kitchen

For all them mothers who feel a kitchen cannot be arranged when it small, well not true. I know most times you see pictures of small beautiful well arranged kitchen abroad and you be like its not possible for a nig. small kitchen to be that arranged and beautiful. Am going to give you tips on how to organise a small naija kitchen.

First you need to change your mentality and habit because when you are clouded with  negative thought you find it difficult doing anything right.
You can try these few steps on your small kitchen and see positive results