A House Reflects It’s Master

Every Home has a master, a captain, a head and that is the Man. If the home is unstable/sad or stable/happy, the head made it so. They are like the foundation and the women the building blocks. As a wife your work is to support your husband in making the home beautiful and to bring the vision your husband wants for his home out, try talking about the future with your spouse that way you can support him making the future bright. Here's what this man says about his home;

"Marrying this woman helped me to be able to become who i am today, in the sense that we were living beneath our means for over a decade. There are many women who will never ever ever ever agree to live beneath their means. I will deny them of holidays, i will deny them of new cars, of cloths, i will deny them of everything because i was trying to build for tomorrow and she has so much faith and belief in me and where i was taking us. Because I’m the captain of my ship, i can’t lie, i am the captain of my family, I’m the head of my family and i believe whether we sink or swim is my responsibility. If you are unfortunate not to have a wife who wants to encourage you, you can have a hundred million and say I’m not spending a kobo of this. We are going to continue to live like paupers because i want to do this and she’ll be like fine, and without that peace of mind, of knowing that i was putting things in place for our future, i couldn’t have ever achieved it."

Wedding is a day, Marriage is a lifetime. Be wise, choose carefully. A wrong choice can destroy you in many ways you can’t think of.

Mother-Daughther Combo

For New Mums

Before you get back home from the hospital after delivery, it is good to child proof your home. Most especially before your baby crawls, or the first few months of them trying to walk because they try to explore every area of your home especially areas that are busy like where your electronics are. So it is very important you baby proof your home and keep it safe for your child. Here are some few tips;

Before you bring baby home

1. Use cool night light in the room where you and baby would stay
2. Do not paint your home for baby arrival.  If you have to, do it months before delivery  time because the smell may be too strong for your little baby
3. Have your bed and baby nursery kitted with mosquito net

As baby starts to crawl or walk

1. Do not carry hot food/tea/water and your baby or carry your baby while cooking to  avoid burns
2. Keep hot food, generally keep food containing pepper away from the edge of your  dining table or stool
3. Do not live your baby unattended or alone on the bed or sofa
4. Put safety plugs or outlet cover over unused outlets or block with a safe object
5. Hide electrical cord, trunk them
6. Keep your mobile appliances out of reach from them like iron, toaster, electric kettle
7. Install gates to block staircases top and bottom
8. If you can keep them out of the kitchen please do, otherwise keep all sharp objects  like knife, breakables, heavy pots locked up
9. Don’t use table cloth in your dining, babies will pull them
10. Attach corners and edge guard to the edge of your furniture
11. Keep drugs far from your baby’s reach
12. Always keep their toys in good conditions and make sure none of the have buttons  or ribbon or anything they can swallow or chock on
13. Keep your baby away from open windows

Cleaning tips for the home

After your mum or in law or whoever came to help you out during omugwor, wipe your tears because I’ll help you achieve a neat home even though you may not have a maid like i don’t and you like your home clean without overwhelming yourself, these few tips should help

1. Work with planning your chores and do it smart not all hard: Like i do, i keep mopping till night when baby is asleep to avoid doing it twice, make a list of what i want to do and i follow it. The laundry is done once in two days
2. Make use of tiny storage: anything....baskets, carton, etc can be used to put together things like your baby’s toys or any little thing lying around
3. Don’t Overwork Yourself: Split or schedule tasks like chose to clean the bathing room Wednesdays, dust Fridays, bake Tuesdays....etc
4. Rest: Do not joke with this one as you need to rest that body of yours. When you feel tired, rest. Even when you don’t feel tired try to nap at least twice when you baby is too so that you can have enough strength to bond with her/him
5. Keep things in their right places: This one is important, when you pick up an object from its proper position, after using it, return it back. S also is dirty cloths/plates put them in their laundry basket/kitchen washing bowl respectively
6. Lastly, if you still get overwhelmed you can hire a maid, hey no one says its bad, your health is important

Battered But Not Broken

This is a story of a Nigerian Housewives who went through some serious challenges in the first 7 years of her marriage but survived. She is married with 3 children, a graduate of a polytechnic. While she dated her husband, it was all rosy, full with fun, romance, and care. 

Once she got married, things changed, her husband became controlling, jealous, no more fun, no romance. He kept female friends that he never admitted to having an affair with but indeed was having an affair with, late night calls from them, text, even hanging out till mid night. 

And when he came back, he would be all drunk. She stayed up late to open the door for him and any delay resulted to beating-violence. The children lacked the presence of their father and each time they go to mummy asking about daddy, she would cover up. He never eats in his house, no care for his in-laws or wife’s looks. 

All she did was pray and persevere, and listen to her mother’s good advice, her mother always encouraged her to persevere that it was going to be okay someday. 

This routine lingered for 7 years until one Sunday evening when he came back late as usual, met his wife and mother-in-law watching African magic in the living room and walked pass them without uttering a word as usual into his room to relax, while relaxing he turned the channel to a program where the speaker preached about husbands eating outside and that was the Turning point. The preacher talked about a man who eat in a particular restaurant daily for years not knowing the cook uses charm to hook up with men who patronize her and drain up their finances living them unable to plan and have a home, it was just like the speaker was talking to him, after the program, her husband decided to stop eating outside and chose to start eating at home with his family, indeed this decision he took was the beginning to joy in the family as all his bad behaviours were destroyed and everything became anew like the honeymoon she never experienced. 

Lessons; whatever situation you find yourself pray and patience is always key for the sustainability of a home. Running away or losing it is never a way out, no one is perfect!

Baby Butt/Body Rash

The weather has been so hot, even with the ac and fan....the heat is still up. My little princess had a butt rash at first i though it was a diaper rash but  then it spread to her back. No matter how careful you are, your baby may probably get diaper rash at some point. Most babies do.

Here’s what i did and it cleared up;

•  I used dustin powder on the affected areas
• Wore her light cloths and changed her diaper more frequently to avoid irritation from urine
• Live her bare butt for about 1hour in a day
• Bath her frequently with cool water
• When she poops i just don’t use wipes and then put her diaper on, i also wash her butt with water

And under 5 days her skin was as clear as usual.Here are some other reasons your baby may have rash in the body

• Bacterial infection
• Allergic reaction to diaper: Change the type of diaper you use till you find a suitable one for your baby
• Sleeping on poopy diaper or full diaper from urine: Always check your baby’s diaper even when they are asleep to see if they pooped and then change it, as a mother you don’t sleep deep, sleep with one eyes open like a shark, lol.
• Having diarrhoea
• If your baby is taking antibiotics or if you are taking antibiotics and breastfeeding

Call or visit your paediatrician if the rash doesn't clear up after 1 week, they can prescribe an anti-fungal medicine/cream to clear it up.

Note that the use of this dustin powder is for prickly heat and it’s the traditional way for fighting heat rash not a medical advice, Always seek your doctor before trying anything new.

Ankara Styles for Your Baby Girl

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Anger Management

As a spouse sometimes you get angry. Anger is a very powerful emotion which can vary from strong to light rage, it differs between individuals and also the cause can affect its magnitude. It can come from frustration, depression, stress, quarrel, disappointments, jealousy, loss of trust, e.c.t. Even though expressing it can sometimes be good for you, jumping at every little thing and blowing it up is not healthy. So how you manage it determines the weather of your home, whether it's going to be joyful or full of depression. Most people who had parents or guardians whose homes were abusive find it difficult not been the same but i tell you, anger can be expressed calmly. It is always best to calm down when you feel angry before expressing the rage because it can be harmful to the receiving end and when you are a little calm regret comes in. Find out how to control your anger whenever it sets in. It's unrealistic to expect your spouse to behave exactly as you want at all times, remember you both came from different families and culture. Here are some few things i do when i feel angry or sad;

• Visualise peace- i use this logic on myself, i tell myself that this is a rough path of daily life and soon i will cross it
• Not saying the first thing that comes to my head, i learnt by experience to always think first before talking
• Talking, this is one of my favourite things...talking clears your heart and it gives you an insight on your spouse heart, never conclude when you know nothing. Talk in a positive and constructive way and choose a good time to talk and never when your spouse is tired or having a rough day
• Time-outs they are not for your children alone, take short breaks to cool off, i normally dip my foot in cool water, it eases my tension
• Work on solving the issue that made you mad rather than thinking about the issue that made you mad
• Exercise. some calm exercise like yoga also calm you down or taking deep breaths
• Rather than saying hurtful words i write it down in paper and later tear it up
• Lastly and the most powerful of all is Forgiveness. do not allow negative thoughts and anger crowd your positive feelings, because you may find yourself swallowed in in your own bitterness and pains. Forgiving whatever your spouse might have done to you in the past is a big part of this, i found out that most couple do not truly forgive their spouses past, this builds up into irritation and turns into snapping and expressing anger at anything little as the compare every act to the past. Only with forgiveness will both spouses learn from the situation.

Avoid alcohol or smoking as a means of calming your anger. I am not saying getting angry is bad, some people may say as a wife you are meant to be happy at all times, never showing you are angry....these set of persons are worse because they feel angry but rather than expressing themselves they bury the expression and the day they will explode hmm, it is always destructive.

Happiness is a choice and so is unhappiness...choose today to be happy